Movie – Guardians of the Galaxy: A+

guardians of the galaxyA+
I’ve always convinced myself I was a fan of Marvel’s cosmic series, but to be honest, I would classify very few as “good”. But now, finally, I am rewarded for my vigilant fandom. Guardians of the Galaxy threw more cosmic comic references than I could’ve dreamed, and topped it with nostalgia for things non-comic-bookers love too, most notably the music. But even the space adventure structure felt warmly familiar. The humor exceeded expectations (which were already high) and the action flowed gorgeously. And for a movie overflowing with characters, each was granted enough time to find a purpose.

Movie – Riddick: C+

I don’t remember Chronicles of Riddick, other than that it sucked, and the opening exposition reaffirmed that memory. After that, this film attempted to recreate the first film in the series, which remains the only good one. The aliens are cool (but not as awesome as Pitch Black) and giving Vin Diesel an alien dog was just silly. All of the cast tries really hard to seem badass and edgy, but it’s all very juvenile. I continue to dislike Katee Sackhoff, though the movie did continue my minor interest in Dave Bautista. There’s a lot of dumb plot-forcing logic, a scant few awesome actionings, and very not much else.

Movie – Fast Five: D

I have no idea how this movie received enough favorable reviews to warrant a 79% on Rotten Tomatoes. I’m a fan of action movies and can suspend my disbelief to the extent to enjoy most of them, but the stunts were so obviously impossible even the most layman theater-goer would find them hard to swallow. All the dialog is awful; all of it. I don’t think Vin Diesel can remember more than one sentence at a time. He spent the whole movie delivering insipid one-liners with a stupid look on his face. They also shoved a pointless car race and some other references to underground racing just so they could justifiably include it in the franchise.