Movie – Parker: C+

If you took Jennifer Lopez’s character out of this movie, it would be a fairly generic Jason Statham film. With her, it’s a fairly generic Jason Statham movie with a character whose every scene doesn’t make sense, and whose portrayal is physically painful. Michael Chiklis is equally terrible, but at least his character is necessary for the plot to exist. Statham’s close combat fight scenes and gun battles are as fun as ever, but the CG blood is awful and distracting. Is CG really cheaper and/or easier than squibs?


Movie – Safe: B

Jason Statham plays a suit-wearing criminal bad-ass who plays by his own rules but is forced to do something out of his comfort zone because of his heart of gold. Familiar territory certainly, but it’s one that’s proven easy to enjoy. The plot was a little less feasible than the usual Statham fare, but I’ll still probably go see the next one.

Movie – The Expendables 2: A

The Expendables movies know their audience and embrace them exactly as they should. I wish some other franchises would take notice. Every action movie trope was present, and the movie excelled because of them. The references to the characters’ other films was a bit heavy-handed, but some worked beautifully (such as referencing Dolph Lundgren’s real-world masters degree). Chuck Norris’ addition worked well, and Schwarzenegger and Willis’ extended scenes affixed a wide smile on my face.

Movie – Killer Elite: C+

It wasn’t what I was looking for and that may have skewed by viewing. The action was typical Statham (yay!) but the plot never grabbed me. There were a few interesting heist-like assassinations in the middle, but they were so episodic it broke the film’s flow. Statham and Owen’s rivalry wasn’t focused enough and De Niro’s character was pointless.