Movie – G.I. Joe Retaliation: B+

gi joe retaliationB+
I never saw The Rise of Cobra, opting to wait for The Rock’s introduction as the franchise-fixer he seems to be now. I also wasn’t a fan of the G.I. Joe cartoon as a kid, though I did enjoy the toys, especially the ridiculous vehicles, and of course, the ninjas. Those two things played prominently in my enjoyment of Retaliation. There’s a ninja fight on the side of a mountain that was particularly entertaining. Naturally, the plot is a mess of nonsense and cliche character arcs, but there’s a truly bold move early in the film that instantly warmed me to the rest. Though there’s also a pointlessly bold move late in the film, only there to spice up the trailer.

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Movie – Red 2: C-

red 2C-
A while back, I read Mary-Louise Parker was quitting acting because internet trolls were too mean to her. I initially thought that sounded like an overreaction, but after seeing her in Red 2, I can understand the level of vehemence that could have potentially been flung toward her. Every time she speaks in this film I want to stab my brain to remove the offending memory. Her character was beyond annoying, going so far as to suck away the joy I would usually have when viewing the shenanigans of her co-stars. It certainly didn’t help that the story got progressively dumber as it went. The dialog sounded like a first draft. The first film veered wildly from the source comic, but stayed on an entertaining course. This one veered even further, careening through the railing and off a cliff.

Movie – The Good, The Bad, The Weird: B-


B-
Korea crafted something like a weird Indiana Jones meets a spaghetti western. The action sequences were long and ridiculous, in a good way, but the plot and characters left something to be desired. I was also surprised to find myself laughing several times at the slapstick character representing “the Weird” of the movie’s title. Cheesy, but mostly fun.